Positive Interactions: Building the Foundation for Healthy Intergenerational Relationships

The first step in building any healthy relationship is to have positive conversations with others. While this seems like common sense, it doesn’t always translate into our everyday actions. This concept is even more crucial in intergenerational relationships, where differences in upbringing and perspectives can make understanding each other more challenging.

This article follows our discussion on understanding Intergenerational relationships, where we defined intergenerational communities as those that:

Involve several generations within the same community.

Foster relationships where generations work together, achieve mutual goals, and benefit from one another’s company.

We also addressed some common misconceptions about intergenerational communities and introduced the five characteristics that determine how intergenerational a community is:

Positive Interactions

Connectedness

Interdependence

Accommodation

Empowerment

In this article, we’ll focus on the first characteristic: Positive Interactions.

Why Positive Interactions Matter

For a community to be intergenerational, different generations need to interact regularly—relationships simply cannot exist without communication. For a community to be healthy, these interactions should predominantly be positive.

If your only interaction with someone is negative, you’ll likely avoid them altogether. Consider this example:

Growing up, I didn’t attend church regularly. On the rare occasions I went, I remember being shushed by older attendees whenever I made a noise. Their scowls and gestures communicated that they would rather I wasn’t there. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t want to return.

Contrast that experience with another church I attended after moving. There, a greeter named Mr. Daley welcomed me warmly every week. He would shake my hand, genuinely ask about my week, and listen intently. His positivity made a lasting impact and contributed to my decision to keep attending.

Positive interactions are the foundation of good relationships, and they have two dimensions: frequency and depth.

Frequency of Interaction

How often do you engage with people from other generations who are not part of your family? This is a critical question for building intergenerational communities.

For example, Mr. Daley interacted with individuals from every generation weekly. Could you say the same? Family connections are important, but for a community to be truly intergenerational, relationships must extend beyond family ties.

Depth of Interaction

When you do interact with someone from a different generation, is the conversation shallow (e.g., about the weather), or does it go deeper? Sharing meals or participating in activities together can help deepen these interactions, creating meaningful connections.

The Comfort Factor

Studies show that people naturally gravitate toward those who are similar to themselves, whether in age, cultural background, or beliefs. This tendency is rooted in comfort—it’s easier to relate to someone you perceive as like-minded and less likely to cause conflict.

However, this comfort zone often limits intergenerational relationships. Seniors may hesitate to engage with children and teens, and vice versa, because of perceived generational gaps. To become truly intergenerational, we must embrace discomfort and intentionally engage across age groups.

Creating Opportunities for Positive Interactions

The best way to foster intergenerational relationships is by developing a culture of intentional interaction. Create events or spaces that encourage different generations to mix and interact. For example:

Host a board games night or similar social activity.

Organise a company-wide BBQ or picnic where families are invited.

Plan group projects that require collaboration across age groups.

The goal is to bring everyone together in a relaxed environment where they can have fun and connect.

Looking Ahead

In our next article, we’ll explore the characteristic of Connectedness, which focuses on fostering a sense of belonging and unity within the community.

I hope you’ll join us on this journey.

I’m Dr. Joe Azzopardi, helping you unite the generations.